"Get a job"

That has been prioirty #1 this break - try to find a job. So far, I have worked on a Cover Letter, e-mailed a couple of people looking for contacts, e-mailed a couple of people looking for jobs and spent a lot of time looking around on the internet. I feel like this is a good exercise, because the more opportunities I explore the more offers I may get down the road. Plus, I will feel much less nervous next week at the company visit to Chicago if I have some other ideas in mind. I can imagine myself getting very nervous in a job interview type of setting, which sucks because I can easily give presentations in front of one hundred people if I need to without getting nervous.

I'm also reading the book "Good to Great" because I find it interesting, and I need to read some business books so that I can answer that interview question intelligently if it comes up. The question being: "What books have you read recently." To which my answer will be "Good to Great" and "Business as a Calling." If it's three, I would also include "Letters to a Young Conservative," which is not good, because it just might give away my political preferences.

"I'd rather run the other way than stay and see"

The Rosenberg Adventures: Night Out

This evening Rogers and I were treated to dinner and a movie (Chili's & Rumor Has It) by Dr. and Mrs. L. Rosenberg. The time was well-spent minus one awkward conversation that dealt with my Mother openly disagreeing with my Father about what exactly the LoveBerg's wedding gift would be:

Option 1 (Larry): "We would like to pay for your Plane, Hotel, and Car Rental on your honeymoon within the continental United States."

Option 2 (Becky): "That's not what we said. We said a lump sum that they can waste on an expensive honeymoon or use to get started."

And so debate ensued. Back and forth went the discussion, while Rogers observed feeling awkward and Andrew said things like, "Well, Mom, I understand that you want to give us like $10,000, which is much more than Dad's offer of simply paying for our honeymoon."

Anyway, that was odd. Apparently, my Mom is not only Non-generous, but she also disdains generosity from my Father when it comes to gift-giving.

"You stare politely right on through"

Movies I've watched since last Thursday evening (Dec. 23) (not necessarily in the correct order): Fun with Dick & Jane, Munich, Calendar Girl, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, The Story of Us, 21 Grams, Ringer. In short, it's been a slightly underproductive week...but a good week. Holiday week.

On the subject of tears -
Would you think of me to be a sensitive or emotional guy? Maybe. Whatever the verdict says, I would describe myself as emotional.

• Things that make me cry are when I have let someone down or someone I hold in high regard has let me down.
• When I realize that something good will never be back again or experienced again. For instance, I cried a lot when I realized that Lisa would never see her high-school dog, Zoe, again. I had no real attachment to Zoe, but I felt awful for Lisa. Another example of this was when I gave up basketball - gave up being not playing in college.
• Finally, some movies can make me cry. Most recently, I almost teared up in The Story of Us and Eternal Sunshine...almost. It's a Wonderful Life may get to me, when I next watch that.

Now that I've killed 30 minutes reading (Jason's Page, Phil's Blog) and writing (this thing doesn't write itself), it's time to do some work.

Today I will: 1. Develop a Reference Page 2. Create a Network Spreadsheet 3. Create a Cover Letter 4. Go to Chili's with Mom & Pop Rosenberg and Rogers 5. Maybe see another movie.

And so we end where we began, as most good things do.

"I will remember you"

Today has been semi-productive. I guess for a Break-Day, that means Very Productive. One week from now I will be in Chicago for a "Mutual Assessment" with a Consulting firm. That should be interesting and exciting.

The day was spent: watching 21 Grams til 3:00 a.m., sleeping til 11:00 a.m., working out, eating lunch, hanging with rogers, working, networking / looking for job opportunities.

Tonight could consist of me taking some Christmas presents back to their place of origin in exchange for something that fits better, going to see Munich (anyone?), hanging out at the Lounge.

How exciting is that?

"And so I'm offering this simple phrase"

Today was Rosenberg family game day. One game of Scrabble and two games of Careers were played. The only Rosenberg not to win was Julie, who is actually a Spires now, so it was only appropriate.

Tonight was hang out with Rogers and Sharp time, which was very fun. We watched some Arrested Development - a very good show that Lisa's mom got for me on DVD. Anyway, Sharp was flirted with by at least 3 guys out of 4 at Starbucks through the Drivethru! Imagine if we had gone into the joint?! So tomorrow, I hope to start working again. I can't just live it up all break.

"Tiny babe of Bethlehem"

This is my Baby niece Noel! She is pretty wonderful.

This is me reading to Noel today.

This is one side of the Christmas tree and proof that I wasn't lying about the presents.

This is the other side. It took a good 4 hours to open as we do "Turn-Based Opening."

This is me and Lisa on our last single Christmas and less than 6 months until the Big Day.

Merry Christmas, everyone. You're loved.

I leave you with this:

Lisa: (After I make some sort of joke or comment) "Yeah, those Russians!"

Andrew: What?

Lisa: "When in doubt make a joke about the Communists, that's what I say."

"This is Santa's big scene"

Taken from the song Silver Bells sung during our 11:00 p.m. Christmas Eve service, the line "this is Santa's big scene" echoed through the church, to which Lisa and I looked at eachother inquistively and confused. I guess I never knew anything about Silver Bells besides the chorus. Same thing with most of the songs I'm familiar with, I suppose.

Tomorrow will be the biggest unwrapping of gifts in Rosenberg family history. Which is saying a lot, because I was raised in a family where the family leader has always gone way overboard when it comes to the opening of gifts. In short, we always have a huge pile. Tomorrow that pile will be significantly bigger than ever before. It will be the Perfect Storm of gift-giving. The additions of Chris, Lisa, and Noel in recent years are certainly contributing to this storm. Early predictions show Noel leading the pack with roughly 40 presents to open. That sounds like an exaggeration and probably is, but if you saw the pile, you might understand. Let's hope the little tike gets a nap before she arrives. I guess it all comes down to one thing, according to Becky Surrogate-Mother-to-Phil Rosenberg, "Your father just has an overwhelming sense that he needs to give all the time." Of course that was said in a typical BR negative tone, which was odd, because really it was a complement.

So anyway, that's the news from Lake Wobegon...well actually it isn't. It's Christmas everyone. My favorite day of the year for all of the reasons that Phil doesn't celebrate anymore www.philllip.blogspot.com I love the traditions, the family, the gifts. And it doesn't hurt that it's Jesus' birth, which is quite amazing. Imagine Angels appearing hovering in air. I think I take that for granted when I read the story (or here it from Charlie Brown's Christmas). Did the Angels hover or did they just appear next to the Shepherds? I've always pictured them hovering. That, my friends, would be a scary sight. Imagine God being born and placed in a craphole. Imagine the feeling that his parents had when shepherds, stars, wisemen, and angels heralded this Baby's existence. I wonder how the animals reacted. Goodnight. Merry Christmas!

"It's that time of year"

Happy Festivus everyone. Although it is now Christmas Eve rather than Festivus. Today lived up to all expectations. Nothing scheduled except when to pick up the Stuffed Crust Pizza for dinner (25 minutes). Since my last update, I've watched 3 movies and two episodes of Lost. Which seems like a bunch of television, but I was wrapping presents and/or eating during one of the movies and both episodes of Lost. So then it's not so bad. The movies were Ringers (Johnny Knoxville pretending to be "special"), Calendar Girl (three teenagers out to score a date with Marilyn Monroe), and The Story of Us (Michelle Pfeiffer and Bruce Willis explore the history of their relationship and whether or not they should finally give up...it almost made me tear up).

This is it for movies at least - Berg's Favorite Movies of 2005 -
Preface: Berg would by no means argue that these are the "best" movies of the year, but these are simply the ones that he enjoyed the most.

5. Sin City - The over-the-top violence, the super-hot dames, the all-star cast, the noir. Really this was a freakin good movie. A heck of a lot of fun to watch.
4. House of Wax - I'll stick with the tried and true equation: Paris Hilton + Elisha Cuthbert x Horror = Best Movie Ever (or at least 4th favorite for the year). Really though, it's movies like this that make me have to include the Preface up there. Also the movie that I've seen the most of any movie for a long time: 4 so far.
3. Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith - Listen, at worst it's the 4th best Star Wars movie ever and at best it's a close 2nd best Star Wars movie ever. That means it's a damn good movie.
2. Cinderella Man - it's easy to love boxing movies, and I loved this one...not just because I saw it on a pseudo-date with Eileen either.
1. A History of Violence - just a kick-a movie. Peter Travers of Rolling Stone agreed with me on this one, which is cool since he saw 451 movies this year and I only saw 37 new ones. Sorry Jason whom I forgot to call to go see it with me and Ricky. You really missed out on this one.

Runners Up were: Batman Begins, The Jacket, The Chronicles of Narnia, and maybe even The Weatherman starring Nic Cage, which I really enjoyed quite a bit.

Worst movie of the year: Man of the House starring Tommy Lee Jones (although I did fall asleep during it). Plus, I try to stay away from terrible movies most of the time, so this probably wasn't half as bad as some other crapfests.

So instead of droning on about movies all night, I'm going to go kiss my fiance goodnight and head home to La Casa de Rosenberg, the home that I was raised in for one last pre-true-adulthood Christmas at home. True adulthood setting in when I'm a married and employed college grad, amazingly 6 months from today!

"It's hard to leave all these moments behind"

Tonight was the annual Yuletide Celebration in Indianapolis - something my family has attended almost every year for as long as I can remember. Lis & I went to hang out with Noel for the afternoon, which was certainly a treat. Perhaps I'll post a picture of the little one.

Well my favorite holiday is fast approaching. This year has perhaps been the least ready for Christmas that I have felt. Ready being primarily mental as in, "It doesn't feel like Christmas." Which is unfortunate, because I certainly like the feelings that go along with Christmas.

Tomorrow should be a rather relaxing day. Perhaps one of the first since break started where I have nothing on my agenda. That should be great. Unagendized days are ideal in Berg's World. And I'm in the middle of Berg's World, so this is an ideal day. It shall begin now with my kissing my fiance goodnight and heading to the Megaplex, okay Applewood 8, where I shall watch what is likely to be a bad movie in good company.

I've been thinking about my Top Lists and I'm ready with the first one.

Top 3 Favorite Christmas Songs
Christmas Song - Nat King Cole
Merry Christmas Eve - Better Than Ezra
Baby, It's Cold Outside - Traditional

"I'm not only back, I'm not only numb"

Three days later. Three at time emotive at times enjoyable at times just downright confusing days later. Good days. Bad moments. There's no use in describing the bad and emotive times here, but to describe it in one word, I would say, "Miscommunication."

Anyhow, the good parts are always better to write about. Unfortunately my internet isn't working so I've got to make this quick and could be cut off. Some fun items were:

The Cincinnati Zoo. I now know how to spell Cincinnati, something that has haunted me for nearly a year. Is it nn or tt? I could never remember until now. That's not the point though. The Zoo was great. It was a cold winter day with brilliantly bright Christmas lights, good friends, and a gentle snowfall that could be described as nothing less than a perfect snowfall. One of those snows from the movies.

Brian's parents are super-nice. His Mom made a bunch of cookies for us. Unfortunately for Brian they all had nuts in them and he hates nuts in the cookies. My only theory is that is one of her small ways at getting back at him for moving so far away to Alaska, which is something my mom would do. Or maybe they're just her best cookies and she only makes the best for us!

Well, I actually have to split right in the middle of this. Stay tuned for the Top Lists of the Year....coming soon (and the rest of this post). Merry Christmas!

"Oh, yeah!"

It doesn't feel like Christmas Break. It doesn't really feel like Christmas. Tomorrow Berg leave's for Cincinnati with friends to visit Brian B-Nasty. It should be an enjoyable time. I am looking forward to it.

Rogers just rubbed my head for awhile, while I laid in her lap. We were kind of talking. But then I started falling asleep. When she said the next thing...something about me not having any dandruff. I responded with something like, "Now she sees that you don't have any on both sides." That wasn't exactly it, but it basically had nothing to do with what Lisa said, but instead fit into whatever Lucid dream I was entering. Lucid being my term (maybe accurate, maybe not) for the dream state that one enters before falling asleep. Anyway, it was weird to realize taht I just said something that didn't make any sense. Have a happy two days if I don't get a chance to update. I'll be back on Tuesday. This is Saturday.

"We've got heads on sticks"

The next line out of Kid A is...oops there it is....the title of this post. It was Friday. A good day. Fun with friends...pretty typical these days. Out to Garfields - back to watch a movie - the 40 Year Old Virgin. A funny flick. Then to Wal-Mart for a couple of hours of shopping. I purchased The Shining and a DVD shelf that I needed. Both with a gift certificate.

Today Lisa and I worked out for the first time in awhile. I'm always going to start working out. Today I actually did.

I also made a Christmas List for my Dad today. That was fun. I guess the day seemed more productive than it actually was.

"Ladies is pimps too"

The first full day of break was spent sleeping, lunching with Grandma, working, hanging out with Rogers, hanging out with friends, playing Halo. Of course, that was a good day.

Tomorrow should be like a semi-typical Friday minus the 8:30 wake-up-alarm and classes. Friends are driving home. Drive safely, friends. Other friends are staying. It's going to be a good time, other friends!

Merry Christmas.

"I'm more than a nitwit"

Another semester has come to a close...a good semester. Tonight was Dinner - Christmas Party - King Kong night. While King Kong was a very good movie, I would recommend Narnia more. King Kong is visually stunning. Narnia's just a better story. King Kong is action-packed, though. Some really cool stuff.

Anyway, rather than bore the world, I shall soon go to sleep for more than 4, 5, 0r 6 hours for the first time in awhile. Last night was 4 hour night, and I don't really know how I stayed awake all day. Probably because it was the last day of the semester. I guess I was just that excited.

"Well the kids are just happy cause their out of school"

In 7 hours, I should be finished with my last final of the semester. I will then head to a business brunch and be completely finished. This is a good thing. Unfortunately, I still need to study for that last final, although I only need roughly a 45% to get a CR in the class as opposed to a NC. I think it will be okay.

It's been a fun week. I've begun to make some new friends, as I've mentioned, for probably the first time in a couple of years, which is both fun and strange. Fun because they're fun people. Strange because, I don't know if there's actually time to develop the friendships to a point where they will be lasting. Although a bunch of us are going to Mexico on Spring Break, which should be a blast. Fun because we do things I love doing like hang out, play halo and watch Saved By the Bell. Strange because it's wierd to hang out with new people. Fun because we laugh a lot. Strange because I wonder if and when I develop new friendships in my future life, it will be the same good feeling.

Anyway, the next week should be superb. It will include things like, finally hanging out Lisa Ann for a few consecutive days. Heading to Cincinatti for a couple of days to visit B-Nasty. Not doing homework.

Goodnight. Goodluck. Merry Christmas. How Wonderful Life is On Christmas.

"Everything else will be over-rated"

Wow. The past week has quite possibly been one of the most laughter-filled school weeks I've ever had. Today was another excellent day. My final went well.
Taking a page out of Phil's book, perhaps a bulleted list would be most appropriate.

• After final nap. As Josh says, "One of the best naps of the year." I guess that means its right up there with post-Thanksgiving dinner. It was only one hour, but it was good.
• Lunch with Webber. A good lunchtime as I gave her "bad relationship advice."
• Head to Rogers to hang out and hear from a Consultant in Chicago. Hanging out, very fun. Hearing from Consultant in Chicago, very good.
• A side note: On January 5th, I will visit said Consultant. Should be very interesting.
• Dinner with Rogs @ Hacienda. Need I say more? Thanks for treating, babe!
• More hang out with Rogs, then off to see Mr. B-Nasty Roberson who is home from Alaska Pacific University for break.
• Off to Humbleman's Holiday - very freaking good time. The White River Boyz absolutely rocked. When Micah played a solo on Jeff's shoulders it was quite possibly the "#$%&ingest awesome thing I'd ever seen. And I don't say that," I added. To which Micah replied, "Don't tell your parents." Also Dancing Santa did make a great debut at least to the 8 of us who were already familiar with DS and laughed really really hard.
• Anyway, that was great.
• Then to Pizza King, where we spent the next 1.5 hours or so. More fun. Thanks for treating again, Babe.

Tomorrow there is work to be done, but also time for fun.

"Everybody must get stoned"

Well last night's studying adventure was interesting. I studied pretty good until about 2:00 a.m. at which time I decided to take a nap on Lisa's couch. I finally woke up and just gave up on studying all together at like 2:25. I come home and for perhaps the second time ever I park in the back, behind the house. While walking to my room I see the TV on and think very little about it, until I see Zach Morris on the screen. Oddly enough my SBTB friends were in the Lounge watching SBTB (of course) by themselves. Apparently Josh had let them in at like 12:00 a.m. I was real tired so after about 20 minutes of the show, I went to bed and they finished the episode and soon left. Anyway, it was a very nice welcoming into my own house to see my friends waiting for me. So I not only missed out on some good Hot Tub Action, but also some Good SBTB action. Stupid test. Man if this isn't the longest paragraph ever...

Back to studying. I've got about 1.5 hours left. That's about 5 minutes per page that I have.

• Baby Noel at the Marketplace = Good opportunity to show her off.
• Chronicles of Narnia = Good
• Hershey Sundae Pie = Fantastic
• Jared Brenneman falling off or our porch into the cold snow only to be suddenly hit with an asthma attack like reaction = Really, really funny

They say, "Defense wins championships." I say, "Man, studying sucks."

"The answer is blowin in the wind"

I just received a call from Wilbe, Jason, Shannon, & Eileen in that order. All in about a 30 second time span. I looked at my phone and decided not to answer. Although I am appreciative that they are interested in talking to me, I cannot be tempted by whatever off they bring to the table. Instead, I must do homework. For 31.5 hours for now is my one important final. In that timespan, I will also spend roughly 12 hours sleeping, 3 hours at church and lunch, 3 hours watching the Chronicles of Narnia. Suddenly, I'm down to 13 hours of possible studying.

I guess I could have answered it. Oh well, they could have left a message too. The cellular telephone is a very valuable communication tool. However, I try to not give it priority over other people, conversations, or events (depending on the circumstances). Tonight I just didn't feel like answering. Wish me luck on my studying. I wish you luck on your fun time.

They say, "These are the best days of your life." I say, "Are you kidding me? I've never even had sex. There are better days ahead."

"Colors seem to fade"

Tonight was a different night for a Friday night--a good night.

What began as a typical night out took a sudden nasty turn when what I would refer to as a "Lover's Quarrel" sent Rogers packing to get away and do some homework. She was missed.

Ricker & Deardorff joined the smaller, but usual Parlaiment, Sharp & I for Applebees. After which, we hung out and played video games, insert Jon Ross. Then Cheap Thrills takes place. A super-funny skit about ESCIFE a parody of SIFE was in there. The fact that we are apparently Parodiable was flattering. We are a pretty easy target though. Nevertheless, they did a great job.

After Cheap Thrills, which was fun because Shannon & I laughed a lot--unfortunately not necessarily at the Skits, a group of folks (Natalie Webs, Bex Firestone, & Kim Coon) came over to hang out and watch some Saved By The Bell. Insert Dan Straley and Nate Deardorff jumping into snow in only shorts/boxers. It was crazy. Goodbye Shannon. Hello Jared Breneman. Meanwhile about 15 more people came over to Hookah.

Hung out and talked about relationships--good talk. Then to Rickers, Deluxe, back to Lounge for 5 Episode mini-marathon of SbtB. As I said, a good night. Different people, different activities, fun times.

They say, "The grass is always greener on the other side." I say, "My wallet is always greener on the other side of work."

"Baby, it's cold outside"

The end of my last first semester is drawing near. One paper to edit and turn in. One important test to study for. One not so important test to study for. Three movies to see in theatres. One SIFE party to attend. One White River Boyz concert to attend. One Lounge Christmas party to attend. One girlfriend to kiss.

It's snowing outside. A lot. Doppler did not let us down. It's multi-inch snow, supposed to be about 8. "Freakin crazy," is what I would say if I were speaking rather than writing.

I'm really enjoying life right now. I'm making new friends and getting to be better friends with other old friends. I haven't made a lot of new friends in school. I think this year, I really am getting to know some people that I am starting to consider to be friends. And guess what? That's right! They're in SIFE! You knew it was coming.

Others make friends through music...that's right you know who and what other blog posts of the past I'm referring to. I make friends through business. It's only appropriate.

"The best things in life are free," they say.
Andy says, "A Hacienda chicken and cheese quesadilla is $3.50!"

"I've been here all day and it's time"

Today was a wonderful evening filled with fun activities with mostly new and a couple old friends...business friends...SIFE friends. From our Mexican themed fiesta, to our trip to Taco Bell, to playing some Halo, then another trip to Taco Bell before playing Pit, and ending up with some Saved By the Bell that ended just a bit ago at about 2:20ish.

What an evening of fun. And it looks like we might do it again next week after our SIFE Christmas Bash!

In other SIFE news, a group of us are going to the Mayor's office tomorrow to learn about the cities Economic Development plan, which should be very interesting. But first, things first: I've got one more chapel to attend, and fortunately, it's All-Club Chapel!

"You'll be surprised, as your solitude subsides"

Last night, Philip walked in and out of my room during the 1:00 AM hour while I took a nap fully clothed with my hooded sweatshirt pulled tight around my face. The nap lasted until 5:38 AM, when I woke up from a nightmare where we (we being me and friends) had murdered someone and then I couldn't buy a new Nintendo. It was a wierd dream. After waking and realizing I hadn't missed class, but I also hadn't finished studying I went into my loft for another couple hours of sleep. Now tonight:

Scenario #1:
11:10 - Update Blog, Return to Studying, at 2:00 start working on paper, at 3:00AM go to sleep.

Scenario #2
11:10 - Update Blog, Return to Studying, at 12:15 start working on paper, fall asleep

Scenario #3
11:10 - Update Blog, Return to studying, fall asleep while studying at 11:40.

I'll let you know what happens. In theory, I could be up all night trying to learn this crap, as it is my last serious bit of homework until Finals week.

CDs to Listen to While Studying _ Rilo Kiley _ New Pornographers _ Gin Blossoms _ (then one more) _ then sleep.

Love, Berg

"Does everyone have a different take?"

Rogers has arrived back safely from Cruising, not much tanner, but with a few more freckles that could pass as tan.

Here's a few of her pictures!
That is Shannon and Lisa and Cruise Boat (in background)!

So I finished 98% of my business plan, which is good, because it means that the week, might not be as bad as I thought. Test Wednesday and book report due Wednesday. Other than that two finals and I'm home free. The end is rapidly approaching, which is good in one sense, but in the other, I've ony got one semester left.

"I still hold your hands in mine, in mine when I'm asleep"

While Rogers' plane touched down at 9:08, she has not arrived home yet at 1:30. So I guess its a good thing that a whole group of us didn't go to pick them up, because others may not have been up for the 4.5 hour journey home from Indianapolis to Anderson.

The roads are icy, the weather is bad. We are under a winter storm advisory. I guess that would be better worded "The residents of Madison County have been advised, 'there's a winter storm.'" But that might not be accurate because not everyone may have been advised. Anyway, I'm glad she will be home safely any a few minutes.

And I'm also glad to have 92% of my business plan done. It's now just a matter of editing, printing, and organizing.

"You're wonderfully, wonderfully, wonderfully precious"

Today was a different sort of Friday. Since the usual Friday night out folks were gone and/or busy some of us that were around had a super good meal at Burger King, including (ricky will be jealous) Hershey Sundae Pies. I spend $8.64 in one meal at Burger King. Not necessarily a good use of money, but you get the point that I ate as well as you can with fast food.

Next, we came back to the Lounge and many students went to Candles & Carols, the event of the season, that I have never wanted to attend. So instead I took a really really good nap. About 2 hours. I was out solid. It was great. This was after finishing Jackie Brown, which I bought from Clodfelder for $6 and tonight discovered that he bought it for $6.

After nap, I hung out with good people and smoked hookah. I think I might try to read a book tonight. Business as a Calling. We'll see if that works out.

I'm really looking forward to seeing LaRogers tomorrow. She's been gone all week. If she had to be gone for a week, I can't imagine a better week, as I had no time to do anything other than schoolwork until tonight. So in that way, it was good that I didn't have the option of hanging with her (not that we see eachother much anyway during the week). Anyway, I'm glad she's coming back after what was hopefully a happy cruise.

"It's touching that the monkey sits on my shoulder"

Today was unique because I had a very positive conversation with a consultant in the Chicago-land area. He was gracious enough to talk to me for about an hour, before telling me to touch base again next week with some more questions. Additionally, he invited me up to visit his company in Chicago to meet him and his team and also to introduce me to some other people in his company. Very exciting. This could be a really great opportunity for me.

Additionally, I've now had two business schools e-mail me encouraging me to apply for scholarships or graduate assistantships for my MBA. Texas A&M and University of Tampa.

Things are actually starting to happen. It's a good feeling. Another good feeling is not having to do homework for the next few hours. Instead I'll relax and then go to sleep. And I'm going to start that relaxing right now